i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
