while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
