You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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