PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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