cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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