thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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