words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
