bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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