Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
