Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
