69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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