I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
