you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
