In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
