Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
