I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
