Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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