Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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