He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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