my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
