kristin has been a bad kristin
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
