the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
