it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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