She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
