So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
