Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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