went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
