we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
