just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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