let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize