So drunk its hurt
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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