Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
love makes seman taste better
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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