It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
