I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
