he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I AM VODKA MAN
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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