Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
