The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize