She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
