did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
