what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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