Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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