Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize