I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
