jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
