i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
