would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
