Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
