So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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