is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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