i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
