I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There's always time for handjobs
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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