dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i think we sleep fucked last night...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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