He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
