watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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