You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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