Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
