im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
