EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
my poor anus
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
