Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
