would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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