wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize