I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize