I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize