You insisted on take shots off of plates.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
