My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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