More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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