I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
