4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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