I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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