you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
