talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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