This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
its not stalking. its research.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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