I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
