hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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