you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
